Something Positive

I just wanted to post something positive. I'm always so negative, I gotta balance it out sometimes and just let go of all my pessimism and cynicism. I'm always so unfaithful in people and their motives. Well, I need to let everyone know that there are good things that happen to me. For Christmas I received one hundred dollars from a random person trying to do something nice. I have no idea who it was from, but I was definitely grateful for it. Also, Roe, the relief society president here made sure our kids had Christmas presents this year. I'm infinitely grateful, even though I may not show it at times. Christmas was particularly hard for me since I still miss my granny so much. I really did try to stay positive and make Christmas happy for my family, since that's what granny would've wanted me to do. She wouldn't have wanted me to be so unhappy. Maybe next year it will be better. It's just hard when granny was so big in my life and there's a big black void in my heart now. I sometimes wonder when the pain will go away and I'll remember the memories without the pain attached. I loved her so much. I miss her so much. I wish she was still here so my kids could know her and know how wonderful she is. She was a wonderful person, stronger than I'll ever be.
Anyways, I have many blessings, and I forget to count them when I'm blue. I have a wonderful family, with a loving and understanding husband who is so patient with me, a handsome son, who shows me everyday that he loves me and is so sensitive for a kid that doctors told me that he'd never show that kind of love, a beautiful daughter that is a delight to watch her learn of the world and express the pure joy and happiness only an innocent child can show. I have a roof over my head, and a landlord that is sensitive to our needs and is lenient. I have wonderful in-laws, the whole lot of them, and love the fact that they love me so much, even if I am pessimistic and cynical and a bit selfish at times. I always wonder what they find in me to like...
I'm grateful for my life-long friend, Rachael, we may not see each other much, and when we do, it's too short, but I love her like a sister and she's been there so many times when I've just needed someone to vent to, laugh with, or cry on. I miss her so much, but I know she's always there for me when I need her.
I have many things to be thankful for. I'm thankful for my family, my mom and dad and sister and brother, even though they drive me crazy at times. They've made me the person I am today, the good and the bad, and they wouldn't change me for anything.
I have a good life. I should be happy. Happiness is a place between too little and too much. Well, I definitely don't have too much, but I don't have too little either. I have many things to be happy. I just need reminding sometimes!
So if I haven't told you lately, I am thankful for you, and for all the things you do for me, and how you like me for the way I am!
Ang